I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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