dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
