This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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