Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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