Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
