Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize