I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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