drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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