i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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