Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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