did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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