So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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