You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
