its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
