It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
