In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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