I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
