just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
