I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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