Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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