i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
