dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
