My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
