im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
People in love make me want to vomit
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He felt like a one man threesome
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
