Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I had to cum in my sink.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
