I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I AM VODKA MAN
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
