I can text with my tongue
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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