ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
