Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
