I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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