I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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