Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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