Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize