i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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