is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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