no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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