you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
