im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
