My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
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I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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