I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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