I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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