I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize