My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
