Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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