I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
