When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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