My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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