is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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