My first STD was from a foam party
I think I died a long time ago.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
