I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
