The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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