The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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