just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
