I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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