Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
