We're facebook friends in real life
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
