i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
