Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
