I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
