Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
