Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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