its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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