We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
