uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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