She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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