i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
