Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Randomize
